How many crossdressers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two: One to change the lightbulb & one to photograph the event....

Ha ha Susan!

SURPRISE ON THE GOLF COURSE

A fellow has a week off from work and decides to play a round of golf every day.

First thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in front. He sees that this is a woman and, as he catches up to her on a par 3, that, in fact, she's very attractive. He's interested and suggests that they play the rest of the round together.

She agrees and a very close match ensues. She turns out also to be a very talented golfer and she wins their little competition on the last hole. He congratulates her in the parking lot, then offers to give her a lift when he sees she doesn't have a car. All in all it's been a highly enjoyable morning.

On the way to her place, she thanks him for the morning's company and competition and says she hasn't enjoyed herself so much on the course for a long time. He pulls up to her house, they kiss and she shows him her appreciation.

The next morning he spies her at the first tee and suggests they play together again. He's actually quite competitive and slightly pissed that she beat him the previous day. Again they have a magnificent day, enjoying each others company and playing a tight competitive round of golf.

Again she beats him at the last hole, again he drives her home and again she shows her appreciation.

This goes on all week, with her beating him narrowly every day. This is a sore point for his male ego but, nevertheless, in the car home from their Friday afternoon round, he tells her that he has had such a fine week that he has a surprise planned: dinner for two at a fancy candle-lit restaurant followed by a night of passion in the penthouse apartment of a city hotel. Surprisingly, she bursts into tears and says she can't agree to this. He can't figure out what the fuss is about, but eventually she admits the reason.

"You see," she tearfully sobs, "I'm a transvestite."

He is aghast. He swerves violently off the road, pulls the car to a screeching halt and curses madly, overcome with emotion.

"I'm sorry," she repeats.

"You bastard," he screams, red in the face, "You cheating bastard. You've been playing off the women's tees all week!!"

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same. The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr Independent and isists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TYRES!!!

In other news scientists have crossed a vegetable with a music player and got a p-pod!

Higgs Boson turns out to be a tranny knot. P xxx

Opened the second day of my advent calendar today. Didn't expect Tom Daley to come out.

Saw my son's teacher in town, wearing the shortest skirt ever,

Hope she doesn't tell him I'm a tranny!

I've just started managing a disabled tribute act to the pop group Steps.
They're called Ramps.

Mal Redman said: ''I've just started managing a disabled tribute act to the pop group Steps.
They're called Ramps.''
-------------

They could do a cover song to be called "Stannah stairlift to Heaven"

Lol Janet!

This joke will leave you in anticipation................

Come on you boring lot, more jokes please!

"I caught my twelve-year-old son looking up women's skirts today," I told the barman after my second whiskey.

"That's pretty normal for a twelve-year-old, isn't it?" he asked.

"Not on eBay it isn't!" I said.

Courtesy of Sickipedia.org: http://www.sickipedia.org/sex-and-shit/transvestite/i-caught-my-twelve-year-old-son-looking-up-womens-1445610#ixzz3Py1Gw3gi



This post was edited by Mia Wallace at January 26, 2015 9:56 PM GMT

Lol!