Because of comments made about my joke posted as the blog "Crazy Engineers", I have decided to start this forum, purely for fun and no offence meant to anyone, so please feel free to contribute.

A straight man trans-sexual, and a crossdresser were drinking coffee together in a Darlinghurst cafe and watching the passing crowd. A very busty, well-dressed, and attractive woman walked into view. "Look at those tits !"; exclaimed the straight man getting up from his seat for a better view. "Doesn't she move beautifully", sighed the trans-sexual enviously. The crossdresser drank some coffee and observed, "Her lipstick is all wrong for that frock!"
This post was edited by Mal Ware at August 12, 2013 2:16 PM BST

A priest had a parishioner who was a crossdresser and attended church in a baggy green blouse and a straight red skirt. When he asked the crossdresser if he could help the crossdresser replied, "I'm really worried about it. I need help". The concerned priest arranged for the crossdresser to attend a clinic and saw nothing of him for some months. One day, to the priest's horror, the crossdresser reappeared at church in a beautiful Chanel suit. "But I thought that you were not coming back until you were cured", remonstrated the priest. "I am cured", the crossdresser replied, "I have a wonderful fashion sense now!"
This post was edited by Mal Ware at August 12, 2013 2:30 PM BST

Q. What's a transvestite's idea of a good time?
A. Eat, drink, and be Mary!

And funny pics too

No contributions? Sorry if I've overstepped the mark!

No just too good to compete with.

Thanks Jo, never sure about these things.

Anyway I officially rename this forum "Silly Jokes" so all welcome (on any subject)!
This post was edited by Mal Ware at August 14, 2013 8:22 AM BST

A couple were lying in bed together on the morning of their tenth wedding anniversary when the wife says, "Darling, as this is such a special occasion, I think that it is time I made a confession. Before we were married I was a hooker for eight years."

The husband ponders for a moment and then looks into his wife's eyes and says, "My love, you have been a perfect wife for ten years, I cannot hold your past against you, in fact maybe you could show me a few tricks of the trade and spice up our sex life a bit?"

She said, "No, I don't think you understand - my name was Brian and I played rugby for Wales."

I held the door for a disabled woman in Asda today.

She just looked at me like I was some kind of knobhead.

It must have been because it was an automatic door.

A Scouser applies for a job in a high class hotel. The manager tells him he'll need to fill in a questionnaire in order to apply - so he goes out and batters the doorman.

My partner has swallowed a handful of scrabble tiles, A&E said it could spell trouble when she goes to the loo.

Shopping for antiques won't make you gay, but it will make you buy curios

Q: When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting.

A: When he wants to fit in your clothes!


Q: What's worst than having a husband with a fashion sense?

A: Physically knowing he looks better in your clothes than you!

An aristocratic lady, clearly with with Lady Chatterley on her mind, pays a late night visit to her chauffeur, Roger. As their bodies begin the eternal dance of love, as the candles flicker romantically against the moon the lady mouthes to Roger, in a soft whisper - Roger, please unbutton my dress. Roger obeys and the lady urges him to slowly take her dress off. Now my slip, she says breathlessly as Roger takes the slip and slides it to the floor and forms a pool of sensual silk at their feet. Finally, Roger, please peel each piece of underwear and toss it onto the bed. With his eyes to the ground Roger obeys and removes her bra, panties and stockings. At which point the aristocratic lady wags her finger at Roger and says sternly - and don't let me ever catch you wearing my clothes again. xxx
This post was edited by Marianne Field at September 23, 2013 11:30 PM BST

Nice one Marianne xxx

A woman went to her doctor complaining about being totally hairless. The doctor quickly prescribes a comprehensive hormone treatment and asks her to come back in three months.

When she returns, she was complaining that her body was now totally covered in hair.

"You must have given me the wrong pills," she told the doctor, "I now have hair on my back and even on my chest!"

"How far down does the hair on your chest go?" asked the doctor.

"All the way down to my dick!" the woman replied.
This post was edited by Mal Ware at September 23, 2013 11:45 PM BST

So good you posted twice - lol xxxx

I cleverly changed the second one to another joke lol xxx

A guy is hiking up a mountain when he notices a girl standing at the edge of a cliff, crying profusely. "Hey," he says, "if you're going to jump, how about giving me a blow job before you do it?"

"My life's been nothing but crap," says the girl. "So I might as well."

After the girl's done, the guy says, "Wow, that was great. Why are you so depressed, anyway?"

The girl replies, "My family disowned me for dressing like a woman."

loving the jokes mal i need to get some funny ones before i can compete with yours lol keep up the good work xxxxxxx

I only get them off the internet. A sure sign that I have too much time on my hands, lol

A sure sign that you have been cooking is if you have thyme on your hands (I'll get me coat!!!) xx

Yeah, get your coat Marianne, you've pulled! xxx

Whey hey - I never pull - result!! xxx