Well, iv been wearing lingerie and sexy little outfits for the past at least 15 years. Iv only ever done it in secret and on my own, for fear of being persecuted. I'm married, and have been with my wife for 5 years in total. Iv only ever shopped on line for lingerie and clothes.

I finally admitted to my wife about a week ago, about my secret life. And she's been amazing, very understanding, and willing to talk about it. I have dressed up a few times to show her the other me.

She's not right into me wearing dresses and stuff like that, but doesn't at all mind the lingerie.

It's such a weight lifted of my chest. We even went out shopping together for lingerie yesterday.

She has been fantastic.

To be fair, reading through this post, I'm seeing a bit of negativity and a somewhat confrontational approach from both sides here, which is equally unnecessary and unhelpful - particularly to others reading this thread who are in a similar situation.
It's easy for some (myself included - I'm a fearlessly open and public CD) to wax lyrical about how you *should* be able to do this, that and the other, and how you *should* have the stones to do so.
But being a CD/TV is something that has so many facets to it, you can't possibly apply a 'one size fits all' attitude, especially not when you're pushing your own point of view on another individual asking for advice.
And in my opinion, we're part of a group of people who should be helping each other.

Of course, we *should* be able to just walk into any shop, dressed or not, and buy anything we like, for whatever reason. But it's not always as easy as that for some people, and unfortunately, we still do live in a society/world where bigotry and ignorance are still prevalent, even though things have moved on, somewhat.

And Mx Ashley - in certain places, amongst a certain demographic of people, it *might as well be* 1870, for the above reasons . Couple this with the often difficult circumstances a lot of CD's struggle with, not to mention an acute lack of confidence, and you've got a lot of individuals who aren't as fortunate as those of us that aren't affected by such matters.

I'm an advocate of giving people the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise, and trying to offer all the help I can to those who request it. Belittling them because they don't conform to my own approach and perhaps don't possess the fearlessness I do, is simply not part of my ethos.

i used to feel embarrassed when i was a kid buying knickers to wear when i fancied a wank. now i don't feel embarrassed as i'm buying knickers to wear day to day. Its a mindset thing. I'm not saying i'm better than anyone its just i've got fuck all in common with someone who is out buying themselves wanking outfits. I'm certainly not in 'the same group'.

Just out of interest, Mx Ashley, how are you so certain that this topic relates to 'wanking outfits', as you so eloquently put it?
You seem pretty certain of this.

And even if that is the case, as I previously mentioned, dressing in women's clothing means a lot of different things to different people, and that includes sexual pleasure for many. Are they somehow 'beneath' you?

Here's food for thought; I pretty much live my life as a girl, even though I'm a happily married man (of 16 years, no less).
Now, while I enjoy the identity of that, I also enjoy the sensual/sexual aspect of it, too - as does my Wife. And in amongst it, I enjoy a wank too, particularly with certain outfits and items of clothing (again, indeed, as does my Wife, whether she's doing the wanking for me or not).

Does that de-value my chosen items of clothing on such occasions?
Of course not!

But I digress.
The original poster made a very straightforward request, that personally, I can't see anything wrong with, and you took it upon yourself to mock it, based on your own arrogant outlook on things, which you've just beautifully punctuated.

looks like you are just smarting for an argument. i said 'i'm nnot better than anyone' and i'm basing the 'wanking outfit' on the OP's profile. And personally I couldnt give a shit about you and your wifes sex life. Have a nice day x
This post was edited by Mia Wallace at October 29, 2015 9:09 PM GMT

Smarting for an argument?
On the contrary, I'm wondering how you've drawn a definitive conclusion, purely based on an innocent question, and a few profile pictures. But you've certainly put forth a 'holier-than-thou' presentation, and continue to do so.
As for giving a shit about my sex life, well I don't expect anyone to, but then, it was mentioned in the context of an example, which clearly flew overhead at 35,000 ft.
By the way Ashley, just out of interest, have you had a wank today? Go on, be honest.
;)

It didnt remotely go over my head, i just couldnt give a toss to be honest. And talking of being honest I can't even remember the last time I had a wank. But I wouldnt expect you to understand HRT.

You certainly are giving the impression of someone who gives a toss, by virtue of the fact you're replying.
I think you need a nice cup of tea.
(and possibly a wank)
But not at the same time - that'd just be wrong.

you tried to take the piss - and you asked as question so I answered, then you say i give a toss because i reply - lets get it clear i answered your halfwitted question and made a statement which you chose to ignore as it didnt fit in with your 2 dimensional argument. Night night x

Chloe, Don't worry about other shoppers. You've as much right to browse, buy and try on as anyone else. If it shocks them they'll get over it. If not they can always write a letter to the Daily Mail! I can't think of a reason to buy sexy underwear if its not for a sexy reason so if its on sale, people are buying it, so get in there. Also could anyone advise me where to buy a wanking outfit? They sound devine

Rach - I 'lol'-ed....:D


@Mx Ashley
Ironically, you've taken the piss out of yourself, frankly.
It's curious, amusing, yet tragic at the same time, that in one of your previous posts, that you mentioned a 'type of mindset which holds the trans community back', because that's exactly what your approach to this thread is demonstrating.
The Trans community is made up of a great many people, with a varying degree of involvement, and an even bigger varying degree of background circumstances.
And here's a person asking for help, pertaining to theirs, and it results in you putting them down, then accusing them of simply looking for a 'wanking outfit'.
Now *that*, is the kind of superincumbent, irksome attitude that perpetuates that very thing.
It's absolutely clear, that your only 'contribution' to this thread, was to ridicule and mock, plus to show us all how superior you clearly are.
And that stinks of attention seeking.
Like I said......tragic.

This post was edited by Jamie Wallace at October 29, 2015 10:27 PM GMT

awww let it go Jamie you seem a little obsessed - why dont you spend your time doing something more useful like taking pictures of yourself with a DELIBERATELY out of focus camera lol

I wondered how long it'd take, before you predictably had to resort to attempted insults, and I doubt the numerous other people following this topic are entirely surprised, either.
Thing is, you've failed, because I don't take myself too seriously, see.
Mind you, given the number of private messages I've received regarding your 'contributions' within this thread and others, and given your self-righteous, attention seeking approach, obvious insecurity, and poor conduct in general, it's not entirely surprising, really.
That's food for thought right there, Confucius.
(go on, Google it....you know you want to)
xD
Oh and....out of focus camera? Are you Myopic?
'lol', indeed.
This post was edited by Jamie Wallace at October 31, 2015 1:11 PM GMT

listen you pompus twat - i have only said to 'someone who is so take me as you find me - i'm an out crossdresser, who lobs the exposure up on their photos to try and make themselves look erm well i meant hide what they really are - sad really - take a normal photo, you obviously take yourself way to seriously as with your heavily (in a retarded fashion) edited photos with your name on the bottom and as for insecurities without getting back to your shitty photo editing i'll focus (get it..focus lol) on your attempts to make me look up myself - repeated attempts,now i'm waiting for your tedious fuckin spewed out thesaurus response but in the mean time you and this confucious fella can both go fuck yaselves..

Oh and as a footnote telling a TS to go and have a wank is like telling a blindman to get a job as line judge on centre court - and pls dont try pretending you were being ironic you thick cunt
This post was edited by Mia Wallace at October 31, 2015 2:16 PM GMT

sorry i missed out the fact that you have in your ownsnide little way being trying to be personally rude to me throughout this thread - then i question your dullard attempts at photo manipulation and I'm the one thrw\owing insults - you are one funny fella xxx

Annnnnd.....here comes the profanity.
This is like a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.
By the way, your HRT isn't working.

Oh, and here - have some punctuation:
...........''''',,,,,,,,

bless is that the best you can come back with - get your nose stuck into Rogets and I'll await your reply darling

And yes theres nothing more embarrassing than a tedious pseudo intellectuals tedious hybebole

and here we have the spelling and grammar police - check you out little man

Well clearly you take even less pride in your written communication than you do in it's content.

bless

I rest my case, your honour.

Right you two -Jamie and Ashley

Stop this childish fight now - RIGHT NOW.

You have between you ruined this post; I really don't care who started this. As with small children I am taking action and treating you like the children you seem to be.

You both have an official warning and if you continue to attack each other on this forum then you will both get a Time Out of 7 days.

Grow up - both of you.


Pauline Smith (site moderating team)
This post was edited by Pauline Smith at October 31, 2015 2:38 PM GMT

ok

Thanks Ashley.

Pauline