i feel the same collette but we do feel guilty and more or less its not usually our fault its the way society treats the transgendered and their partners, we would all i think like to dress and go out more often but then its what will the neighbours say or what if someone takes offense. Im me and get on with it and touch wood havent had any problems but you still have to be careful. Joanne xxx

In psychological terms it is sometimes refered to as the 'Boom / Purge Cycle'. It may be likely you experience small and large cycles of guilt and embarassement and the 'purging' of anything girly you own and any such behaviouror expression.

Other times you feel you need to indulge yourself and get more parafanalia to dress and express yourself and go through a time feeling everything is OK.

On a personal basis, I think you just need to admit to yourself who and how you are, not worry about it too much, especially not the 'what' and 'why' and enjoy and celebrate being yourself however that may be in your own circumstances.

I would find a million and one excuses not express myself and dress up, its too easy. I think its healthy to make sure you have a regular 'dose' of expressing yourself and dress up. Whether that is once a month, weekly or daily depends on you. Whether its out clubbing and socialising, with a loved one or privately on your own or with a professional at a dressing service is also down to you.

Finding balance in your life has to be a good thing though. Not least to save yourself a fortune in 'binned' or even 'burned' clothing collections every few weeks or months!

i have no guilt at all, do not see why i should. i think you girls have answered everything here, and i could not of put it better than marianne, in my book she has hit the nail on the head, well put marianne, so lets all stick together. love collette XXX.