What do you do to achieve 'femininity'?

    • 20 posts
    July 30, 2015 7:52 PM BST
    arrrgggggg only been to one, 4 years ago in Mancherster, fun as Hell, I was married then now single so could be even more inteteresting
    • 103 posts
    July 30, 2015 7:54 PM BST
    i love all the feminine points raised but not the be all and end all for me personally i think femininity comes from within anyway
    • 24 posts
    July 30, 2015 8:08 PM BST
    Holy shit this topic got spammed before I could respond with a response. I am still working on it.
    • 52 posts
    July 30, 2015 8:30 PM BST
    I agree with Rachel that it has to start with thoughts, an inner spirit of the "Divine Feminine"- needs to be cultivated...go from there to external fragrances, textures, colors and you have it...
    • 7 posts
    July 31, 2015 1:22 PM BST
    Interesting question. As I’m technically a part timer when I do dress fully fem’ it’s the the wig, make-up, nails and heels make a big difference.

    Day to day I simply try to let the more feminine aspects of my personality. Tight jeans, clear nail strengthener, a little jewellery and occasionally some BB cream - great stuff. As well as smelling nice, keeping clean. Going to the gym a few times a week and moisturiser all over. Gotta look after what you got!

    For me it is the whole looking after myself better and trying to ’think differently’ not just an Apple sloganThere are a lot of more negative male traits I don’t want in my life and it’s so easy to fall into an easy option. I also accept some male traits happily of course.

    Hope that makes some bloody sense to someone.

    For now I’ve answered the level of importance from your list below in ‘out of ten’ for me as Rachael did early on.

    1 - 4/10
    2 - 6/10
    3 - 8/10
    4 - 7/10
    5 - 9/10
    6 - 9/10
    7 - 8/10
    8 - 1/10
    9 - …
    10 - 9/10
    • 5 posts
    July 31, 2015 2:42 PM BST
    Smelling feminine is a must and to have hourglass figure is a must too, but getting that figure is hard to get. Good make-up is also a must but having to much is not my look.
    But help with being feminine is also needed so help please.

    This post was edited by Alec Curtis at July 31, 2015 2:49 PM BST
    • 201 posts
    July 31, 2015 4:03 PM BST
    Women's and men's body shapes are naturally so very different so an hour glass figure is impossible without shape wear. If a blokes got big tits and a big ass as well as big hips there's zero chance he's got a small waist
    • 51 posts
    July 31, 2015 4:12 PM BST
    I am sure we all want to go through all of the ten pointers and a few more !! But the real feeling of femininity takes over totally the moment I first step out of were ever I am and become immersed with all that is going on around me and have the incredible feeling of being ' Alana ' !!
    • 866 posts
    July 31, 2015 5:55 PM BST
    Nice 10 wants or is that needs Ashley?

    Dieting is not on my agenda nor having a tan; both are personal choices and are not gender specific. As you are on HRT you can grow your own boobies and you didn't have male pattern baldness before you started HRT, so you can grow your hair too.

    I agree with all your list - especially things like eyebrows, nails (add toe nails), no body hair (though my back is a bugger to keep smooth), moisturiser lotions and creams, smelling nice and wearing clothes that suit your body shape and colours that look good with your complexion and hair color.

    I would add the following essentials that help me be Pauline when I am out and about doing the shopping and going on the tram and to dinner, etc, etc.

    1. False boobs - silicone, bird seed in balloons or flour in balloons whatever you can afford to fill your bra. A pair or two of old tights at a pinch.

    2. Hip and bum padding - without that you have the triangle shape of a man (big shoulders and narrow hips) if you are thin and if you are like me with a tummy you just don't look right. Either way no women's clothes fit properly. Skirts and dresses don't fall right and women's trousers are too big around the hips and bum.

    The ideal waist to hip ratio is 70:100 but even 85:100 is good enough and hips should be about the same width as shoulders.
    Lots of girls either say they cannot afford or they cant be bothered - there are enough videos on line on how to make padding without resorting to expensive solutions.

    3. Wigs - if you wear them every day then you need several so they can rest. And wigs do need washing otherwise they smell - about every 15 times is OK. And they need renewing.

    4. Give your feet a pedicure. Do it yourself or pay for it. Get rid of all the hard skin on your feet and big toe nails which cause runs and ladders in tights, stockings and knee highs. Your feet will feel much softer and nicer, and keep them soft with foot baths and mosituriser.

    5. Choose appropriate accessories for your outfits - feminine glasses, the right handbag, jewellery and scarves or head bands etc will make a difference.

    6. Read women's magazines to see what the latest looks are - that's make up as well as clothes, what to eat, how to exercise. I subscribe to Prima ( yes I realize many of you cant get womens' mags - but you can read your partner's or wife's or look on line.

    As an example the latest copy of Prima has an article on what to wear if you don't like your legs (also a good solution for those of you who cannot shave their legs - one other solution is to wear dance tights and then stockings or another pair on top, it's an old solution from the 1990s but works with knee length or shorter skirts).

    7. If you are going out at night make sure you have a pair of flats in your handbag, so that when your heels hurt you can hobble back to the hotel or car more easily (smile). RGs do that too

    8. Do the best job you can with make up and remember less is more (don't put it on with a trowel). Go to Boots and have a foundation test and a makeover - find out what look suits you - and practice practice practice. Girls were not born with a mascara wand in their hand but they have been practicing since they were 5 or 6 years old. You can catch up and highlight your best features with out looking like a panda or a drag queen.

    Ashley's point 10 about being perceived as feminine is key, and that comes from within. Women come in all shapes and sizes and their clothes fit all of us...the padding really does help (believe me) even if you don't look 100% woman it makes you feel more confident - when I knock a glass off a table with my padded hip it's because I have forgotten they are wider than when I am in boy mode.

    That is me - others find different solutions and it depends what your goal is as not all trans women have the same goals. Some want to pass, some want to shock - your own look will depend on what your own goal is.

    All I can say is that after almost 20 years of being out and about as Pauline (and sometimes being back in the closet) I love being out there doing my best to look and behave like the feminine person that is inside me all the time. She spills over into my boy behaviour too-especially these days.

    hugs

    Pauline xxx
    • 259 posts
    July 31, 2015 6:26 PM BST
    As another part timer I still do almost all of Ashley's 10. And I'm in boy mode most days. You'd be surprise how few people notice gel nails, hairless limbs and well moisturised skin. As for eyebrows, no problem. I do fail a bit on the no hair, as my wife likes some for when I'm doing family things.
    • 201 posts
    July 31, 2015 9:50 PM BST
    trust me boy modes wankso don't do it
    • 235 posts
    August 1, 2015 8:21 AM BST
    Many of the things in the list are great for looking feminine - but I find that talking to real women about any old stuff is great for feeling feminine. One of my best nights out was down at the Way Out Club with two female friends. I hadn't been able to lose the hair on my arms (for one reason and another) but I really felt great that night and after we got the taxi home the three of us just talked the whole night through. However, having said all that I think that my eyebrows let me down and I want Ashley's Indian to do a job on mine!! xx
    • 11 posts
    August 13, 2015 9:45 PM BST
    eyebrow yes, body hair yes but shaving my legs makes me feel more feminine,next is eyeliner but the most important is heels,they make stand and move automatically in a more feminine manner,just my thoughts, xxx
    • 19 posts
    August 22, 2015 9:29 AM BST
    Starting at the beginning. Ashley's list is mostly adhered to.
    Potions, lotions and creams help the skin and if the skin glows then you are off to a flyer.
    Good quality makeup and of course jewellery helps create the illusion. No body hair below brows is essential and I keep my brows tamed and under control. I use a brow gel liner to keep them flat.
    Nice clothes, shoes and accessories such as bags, coats etc... help.
    Of course this is just the exterior. Mind set helps too. Nothing worse than seeing a well dressed and presented t-girl when she gets up and walks to the bar like a builder and then orders a pint.
    Behaviour is a large part for me and as soon as I change from "Mike" to Caroline, I have to behave like Caroline as well as look like Caroline.
    • 199 posts
    September 22, 2015 4:55 PM BST
    Moisturise moisturise moisturise and...... I have three giant bags of make-up and shave of all hair and wear a good perfume that costs a bit!........plus my brain is pretty much female.......so that just about covers it.............