As T girls we struggle to find the dress that suits us and gives us those feminine curves we want - with or without hip and bum padding,though most of us have false boobs in our brassieres. So when I saw this article by the Invisible Woman in the Guardian it hit some buttons fro me as did some of the comments - I have reproduced a couple to show how hard it is for real women to look good, and also some of the tricks we can or could use to look more passable.

The first part is the Invisible Woman's article :-

Diane von Furstenberg claims the wrap dress suits every woman. Sadly, that's not always true. But here are some other shapes that have never let me down,

If I said to you "wrap dress", what would be the first thing that sprang to mind? Would you think "sleek and versatile", or would you think "sack of spuds"? Whichever it is, the name Diane von Furstenberg probably also popped up, or DVF if you prefer the shorter, catchier version. This year is the 40th anniversary of the DVF wrap dress – the dress that suits any woman of any shape and size, allegedly. I say allegedly because I have never really found it suited me except very fleetingly when I was toned and muscular from dance training and I was body-confident enough to wear a dress that felt as though modesty was only third on its priority list (which was probably the point in 1974).

Personally, I find that the fluid jersey construction – "it made every woman look like a feline" – is the very thing that turns me into Grizabella the Glamour Cat. I clutch, I fidget, I pin and I tape; I substitute a substantial leather belt for the skinny tie; and on one occasion I have actually sewn myself into one. You can't say I haven't tried. A tailored wrap dress in a fabric with structure is an entirely different proposition, neatening my outline and feeling secure. Why doesn't the undoubtedly successful jersey wrap dress work for me?

Well, it's shape, isn't it? My shape has changed up and down, outward and inward, as I have gone through motherhood, changes in lifestyle and, perhaps most significantly now, ageing. I tried on a jersey dress, not a wrap, in LK Bennett last week and it looked dreadful on me, just as I knew it would. There have, however, been three constants in a lifetime of changing shape and they are the ones I always go back to.

A-Line

I've worn the A-line since I was about five. Coincidentally, Christian Dior invented the term in the year I was born, which must be significant of something or other. This, to my mind, really is a shape that can be worn by any woman, although I think it suffers a bit from being thought of as slightly dull. That said, there are several A-line dresses and skirts in my cupboards and my (presently) fuller outline looks very well in them. As long as the fabric has some structure to it, an A-line dress fits neatly over the bust but then skims everything else, because it's A-shaped, and it's very flattering.

Empire line

Empire line is another one that has been a good do-er. Even at my slimmest, I have always had childbearing hips. The difference between empire and A-line is that the empire line is seamed under the bust and then falls to a flared, gathered but always a fuller skirt. I'm not keen on much gathering, which only adds bulk, but I love the way it hides the wobblier bits. My mother-of-the-bride outfit for my oldest daughter's wedding was an empire line 30s tea dress with a longish bias cut skirt and flutter sleeves – pale lemon and scattered with a lilac blossom print, it was the prettiest thing and I didn't look matronly at all, even though I undoubtedly was at the time.

Full skirts

Vintage or retro styling of the 50s sort has always been a thing for me, and given that one of my earliest memories is of my mum's swishy skirts, I suppose that's hardly surprising. Of course, this means full skirts and full skirts make the waist look smaller (tiny even) and cover hippier hips – you might be noticing a theme here. My top half has always been my neater half, so that's the bit I like my clothing to fit to. Over the last few years I've acquired a bust (something I last remember having when I was breast-feeding), over which a fitted bodice and full skirt feel comfortable and neat.

A couple of summers ago I took to wearing a black linen, full-skirted shirt waister with my own layers of petticoats underneath and, as is often the case with favourites, I wore it until it finally disintegrated, but I always felt good in that dress. I need a (wider) belt to help define my waist now, but it's still broadly there and this still broadly works and it's feminine. Femininity is something I'm keen to hang on to but I would rather do it without frilliness (which isn't the same thing at all), although I do permit the "right" sort of frills in my wardrobe in moderate quantities.

The "right sort of frills" sounds like a topic for another conversation, which might be a good place to leave this one and ask what dress shapes have always worked for you?



Here is the first comment - which is very appropriate for so many of us...

I'm straight up and down, with no bust or hips, so I sometimes wear wrap dresses as they give an illusion of shape! I also like Empire dresses for the same reason, they emphasise the bust. Shirt dresses are also flattering, as are neat T-shirt dresses and kaftans.


And the second comment, which highlights the traumas that women who have breast cancer suffer from.....

I'm 5' 7", size 16-18 with an hourglass figure but with a bit of a tummy and a sticking out bottom (trousers are a nightmare - they always gape at the back - so I've given them up). Although I don't have a huge bust (38E) any more after a mastectomy and reduction on the surviving breast (formerly 36J), anything trapeze shaped or empire line makes me look like a galleon in full sail! I also have the challenge of a partial prosthesis (as my reconstructive surgery isn't yet complete) and scarring so very low necklines are a no no. The breast reduction has also left me with bra overhang on the sides (Fantasie seem to be the only brand that deals with this) and some loss of tissue on my back from reconstructive surgery.
So what works for me are quite structured dresses that nip in at the waist. Clingy jersey fabrics are a no no with the exception of 2 10 yr old Banana Republic wrap dresses in heavy silk jersey that skim rather than cling. Necklines can often be fixed with a camisole underneath (my top tip for full prosthesis wearers is to wear a camisole in stretchy jersey but go down a size so it helps hold the prosthesis in place). Increasingly I wear full skirts. In the case of pencil dresses I often have to take in the back dart to accommodate the curve of my back.

At the risk if repeating my posts from last week, some styles that work for me. Shirt dresses. I loved Boden's full-skirted Riviera shirt dress until they altered the style this year (they added tight cuffs to the sleeves and the buttons on the bodice gape). Vivien of Holloway's buttoned tea dress with a slightly blouson top and A-line skirt is brilliant (but avoid the plain colours they look like nurse's uniform). Heyday's Fleur dress, based on a 50s house dress that wraps at the back. The label's designer Shona really understands how to cut for larger busts - the bodice has tiny pleats at the bust.

Finally, I've discovered that a bodice cut with a diagonal slant like an inverted triangle is much more forgiving of bra overhang and back fat and will help give the illusion of s smaller waist. Better still a raglan sleeve. All the vintage repro labels do this well. Add a net or chiffon petticoat or one of the lovely cotton ones from House of Olivier and that will also enhance the hourglass effect. I highly recommend Polka Dot Polly who will make to measure at a reasonable cost, particularly the raglan sleeved Dorothy (with super elegant collar) and Marnie (wrap bodice) styles.

For special occasions/evening, Katya Wildman's Bombshell is amazing. For fellow breast cancer survivors, Vivien of Holloway has 2 dresses with a wrap bodice that doesn't show any cleavage but is feminine and elegant (I was moved to tears when I first tried one on): Grace has a circle skirt and Jezebel a pencil skirt with a side peplum. If you need shapewear, I recommend What Katie Did's waist cincher.



And here is my summary of what I do and my question for all of you ....

After about 17 years now of dressing on a regular basis and going out and about as well on a regular basis I can say that my favorite dresses are knee length wrap ones when being glam, tunic dresses and leggings in winter and either maxi dresses or floaty knee lengthy ones in summer. Now I do wear hip and bum padding so my shape is something approximating that of many women. But as the 2 contributors show - with a little thought and trial and error you can find a style ( or several styles of dress) that suit you.

So come on girls what is your fave dress look?


hugs



Pauline xxx

PS Here is the link to the article
http://www.theguardian.com/fashion/fashion-blog/2014/apr/09/what-is-your-wardrobe-wrap-dress

Oh god - where do i start?
For me i have to be very careful, my favourite look/outfit will have to be tight hobble skirt and tight blouse, but there is no way on earth i can carry that look off - so back to reality, usually i do go for just a straight forward dress, that i can hide my tummy, although i have just ventured out in a mini skirt of late ! - Thanks for the tireless efforts you do for the site Pauline, post like these and your blogs and articles often go unrecognised - Bravo to you ! Mwah xxx

I'm diff in the 'sack of spuds' category on this style of dress

Polka dots - don't know why but they seem to flatter me despite my shape!!! xxxx