Are they ‘Players’?

A single guy, signs up to a dating agency and arranges a number of dates with a few different females. Those he likes, he continues to see fairly regularly. He doesn't tell any of them he’s seeing other women and they don’t ask. At what stage do you women feel he’s becomes a player? Would you be ok with this? Do you expect monogamy from the first date? Guys/gals what would you do if the shoe were on the other foot?

This post was edited by Deleted Member at December 19, 2012 10:42 AM GMT

For me it's a sign of his instability, weakness and paradoxically his lack of self confidence - QUALITY is always better than quantity and guys like this like to think of themselves as great Lotharios - But most of them just need women to empty their spunk bags into - Hardly very satisfying for women - whether they be Trans-women like me or Gwomen like you Adéle -

Do you think men are really that shallow?

I just wonder at what point should you ask if they're seeing other people and when or even should you expect the relationship to be monogamous?

Too many are and the fact that I'm not exactly "in the first flush of my youth" has given me a certain experience in the matter, let's say - So many women have told me about the kind of disappointments that I evoke above - Not ALL men are like that, obviously, but those who put the sensual pleasure of the women before their own are rarer than the spunk-bag emptiers I think...

I've been with my other half since I was 17, so I haven't really known guys do that first hand, but I have had girlfriends tell me of their experiences with guys. I'd hate to be out there starting all over again. My confidence is fragile enough.

Sure and that's why you need to have someone who'll give you the understanding, support and self assurance that you need - And I think you've found that person - Lucky you - xxx

CAROLE IS RIGHT ON

Hi Adele,

I think it's a case of honesty. I've met people who I really like as friends and continue to see them as friends without that sexual spark. However, given the scenario you've put as the OP I would say after three dates at most. If they cease to think about dating anyone else after a first date, unless it is amazingly successful they say to me that they aren't choosey but want anyone and don't really want to get to know you; a second date is to check you are right; but by the third I woulld expect them to not play around with others. I know others will think differently though.

Adel Hunnie you seem to be an Intelligent, caring, beautiful person on the inside and out
Go out with some girlfriends, take control and your confidence will grow,
you don’t have to be on the pull, just go as far as it feel right, fear is the mind killer
As for dating ! Well dating is dating until the sense of commitment rears its head !
it may well be more of a one way street for one than it is for the other ! If its not a problem
Enjoy it, if it is change it, but above all respect yourself ! These are just my personal thoughts

Take Care x Davina