I was intrigued by this idea, Is transgender a transitory state? At what stage are you transgender? And if you go ahead with surgery are you still transgender or not?

I have some ideas of my own but will keep them for now.

How long is a piece of string?

I like the rainbow idea of gender and sexuality...that there are various places on the rainbow where you can be...not just two default settings. After all we are not binary computer programs are we?

Maybe this explains all the sub divisions and little boxes that trannies love so much, from HPWs all the way to TSs. And the angst so many Tgirls have about their own sexuality.

Maybe all the corn sugar in western diets which has caused obesity and seems to be addictive (see BBC 2 series on obesity) have a parallel....in that we find dressing addictive?

Having been lucky to be active as a T girl in two countries for more than 15 years, I have observed and known many Tgirls, and formed some conclusions - but as they are based on not very large data sets I am not sure of their validity.

From my own viewpoint it's not a transitory state. I was given some great advice in the Philbeach Hotel (now gone sadly) circa 1996....you can purge your clothes but not your mind, its not going to go away so enjoy being a tranny.

For me being a Tgirl/TV or a TG person is not an illness, but so often Tgirls have low self esteem. I have gone through all the stages for T girls except transition, which is not my choice - so guilt and denial (growing a beard), using clothes to get aroused, low self esteem to the stage I am at now. It took lots of hard work in therapy and constant changes as I have got older and poorer to learn that Pauline ain't going away and that she is an OK gal...lol. Not the prettiest or the slimmest or the youngest, but happy to be.

Today I live both as Pauline and as a guy, I made that decision back in 1998 not to live full time and for me its a good decision. I have known quite well 4 girls who have become TS, but lost touch with all them...so am not sure if they are happy or unhappy with where they are now or if you are still TG after surgery. My physiotherapist yesterday said she was treating a TS.....please note that she did NOT say woman...though we did not get into a deep discussion about it ( she knows I am TV by the way), so I would say that society judges us as TG wherever we are.

Jo, I guess for all of us its slightly different and depends on our own experiences, family, work and financial situation. Winning the lottery would change things for many here. But if you are unhappy with yourself...as man, HPW, CD, TV or TS....then surgery in itself wont make you happier, will it? Its that old conundrum...love yourself first, then others can love you.

Just some thoughts for a Saturday morning before I go off for the day to look after my mum, which I don't see as a gender specific task or role.

hugs

Pauline xxx
This post was edited by Pauline Smith at June 16, 2012 8:32 AM BST

Very well put Pauline , and i agree with most of what your saying . I think the most important thing is if you cant love and be happy with your self . Then nothing will change .
I as well have been out for some time and happy as i am yes id like some things changed but will that make me happy. I have no idea , so il plod on slowly . I meet so many girls that just need to find them self before they commit to what is next in there life . As for are you still tg after surgery in this world , its sad to say yes you most likely are . I know some wont agree , but do feel unless your blessed with a great figger great skin , and a female voice . You will still be at a disadvantage even after surgery . I know this is not what some want to read but it is just how i see it .

I'm hoping to begin transition, but will always see myself as transgender as I was born a man. I have made so many good friends (one in particular who is my BFF) I will always be here, you don't get rid of me that easy...lol

i agree with pauline, concerning the love/like of oneself, and the point she raised concerning surgery, wishing all you girls the best and hope you find what you are searching for, love collette XXX.