After a serious break down three years ago (going through a bad divorce) with several attempts on my own life.
That naughty girl ,Sara louise has came to the fore front again a year ago. Dont misunderstand me , I love Sara louise ,i should do she's a very big part of my life.
With the help of my lovely soon to be wife (Catherine) Sara louise has come on leaps and bounds, new clothes ,shoes , and all that comes with been feminine.
The question i'd like your views on is .
Have you ever got that feeling where you feel alone ?,
Yes i have a lovely girl who undersatands and helps every way possible , but i still get that feeling of been alone .
Its not a sexual thing , sex is a mere pass time for me ( what ? i hear you shout,, join a convent then ,lol)
Its just that where i live theres tg girls , but they never meet up , visit, go out , ( maybe im wording this wrong,i dont know)
I've travelled the length and breadth of this country , for nights out or weekends away, just so i can be around like minded people like myself.
Forgive me Northeast girls,
Yet i sit at home and feel very much alone.
Theres such a divide between how people south of me think to how people north dont seem so accepting.
Eaybe its just sara wanting to be out more i dont know .
am i just babbling on , or do other girls feel this way ?

Yes, many trans feel alone, even surrounded by loved ones, specially surrounded by loved ones. We sometimes need others t understand us, and through that lack of understanding comes a solitude of sorts, where we regress into ourselves deeper only to find that the plan is not working. Which makes us feel even more alone.

As fr the north south divide, its just a generalism in my view, i know many northern people who are lovely and warm, and some who are not, the same goes for southerners, some are sweet, some are bitter, some are not even on a human level!

In a lot of cases bein trans is quite a lonely life. I came out to my gf we split up. We never had sex so didnt miss the sex but i still do miss the companionship. Sex isnt an issue given what I do for work so that really doesnt bother me, thats the easy bit of bein trans. The hard bit is finding companionship, which I think most humans need regardless of sexuality. For straight regular folk its easy find a bird settle dowwn cool. Gay men and women also seem to find it easier to find relationships and companionship....just doesnt seem the same being a tranny. People want u out for nites out, people wanna fuck ya.....but anyone wanna give you a little bit more? Those people seem all too far and few between...theres no end of guys wanna have an affair with you, bit on the side....but anything else is kinda rare.

Lonliness is definitely going to be on the cards for periods of time. North south divide isnt right manchester has a bangin tranny scene as does Leeds. I aint never been to the triangle area of newcastle, i know theres a club there that does a tranny do once a month or whatever, so it might be worth finding out about to make some more friends locally

thank you Alexandra and gemma, for your kind understanding words .
i use to go to manchester about 6 times a year love the place ,been to brum and notts , also newcastle , maybe its me ,because ive been out of the scene so long .
ive started looking at the scene in leeds and newcastle,even sheffield , and hotels around those area's .
maybe i should just get my fat bum and do something about it , get back out there and live life to the full .
once thank you girls .
hugs sara louise ,xxxx

i have also noticed in the short amount of time ive been out about this way of life is that finding likeminded people locally is very difficult but thats just the price to pay being from a small town i guess.
The north/south divide is something i havent come across as yet instead i have noticed accepting smiles and taunts & sniggers all within just a few steps wherever i have been.
Once again i suppose its the age old story of people being scared of what they dont understand, but they never will if they arent also TG/TS
The main thing we all should remember is were all only a few clicks away from someone else in the same predicament so thank heavens for the internet and sites like this in which we can all share our thoughts and experiences xx

totally agree with you Kiraley , thank god for the internet and sites like Transtastic.
i might be comming across wrong here , -n/s divide:
all i ment was ive been out in middlesbrough ( n/east) ended up in hospital because of some small minded numpty, dont get me wrong theres guys and gurls in middlesbrough that are fantastic about me been tv, but most are biggots , its different when ive been south ( ie: notts , brum, mancs )was different when i went to newcastle too ,
errrrrrrrrr i think ive answered my question : Middlesbrough is a rough town , no wonder the tg-girls are so seceretive . and some times i dont blame them .
ive had sniggers and finger pointing in the past ( at what i call south) but thats water of a ducks back,its when they attack and i aint had anything like that south of me , nor in newcastle may i add..
so if theres any girls in the middlesbrough area reading this , drop me a line plz .
As for the answers to my satement , thank you all , its just nice to see other points of veiws too , thank you .
hugs saralouise, xxxx

you're right middlesborough is a shithole

even the pigeons fly upside down ,

Well i watched that "my dads a woman" last night and it made me wonder why they decided to share with everyone on the telly.There ain't no way i would be so brave if thats the word.The less people who know about me the better and to tell the truth i recon after my op i shall disapeare into the being a "normal" woman if i can.
I have some realy good trannie friends but only feel as much in common with them as my non-trannie friends,they are all about something that i am not and never will be (i don't think).Usualy when i say this people get funny with me as if they think i'm trying so say i'm better than them in some way which is not the case, so i wonder if i'm not making myself understood.
I do feel differant to everyone else i have ever met in many ways, being T.S. adds to this but i'm unsure if it's the sole reason.
I think what i realy feel is alone but not lonley and with my experiance of life so far that makes me realy lucky.

Jasmine, My take is that there is a big difference between TS and TV...or any other kind of T girl. When I lived in Holland several of my friends went for transition and during that process they "moved on" - so away from the CD/TV scene. I understand why you have little in common with your trannie friends - its a different journey.
Also I would observe that being TS is not for me or for all Tgirls, and secondly you can be a trannie,TV, CD or whatever name....and still be TG. There are many roads through life and hopefully all of us in the TG community will support each other. hugs Pauline xxx
PS I didnt see the programme -hope to catch it over the weekend on "i player"

Jasmine, in a nut shell, thats how i am increasingly feeling. A quote from my assessment last week was "For a time associated with transvestites, but came to realize that she was fundamentally different to them.", which could be perceived in many ways, one being im up my own arse, another being that i have become to realize who i am and finding big differences between the many colours of the transgender rainbow.

But Pailine is correct to, the average joe cannot tell the difference between a transsexual, transvestite or drag queen, to poor joe, were all the same, but were not, we are all transgendered at different levels, and neither level is "better" than the other, to say otherwise is retarded in the extreme.

Though it does often feel like a lonely place, this community, i guess partly due to privacy reasons, trust, self acceptance even. But look hard enough and you'll find that we all share some common ground one way or another.xx

brovo Alexandra ,
your last statement says it all