I don't care for this phrase - "real life." It makes me think that even though I am in the closet to all except my gf, and then only partially, that my life as a transwoman is not real. My real life is what I in fact do in it. Just because almost no one knows that I am trans doesn't make my life as one any less real.

What I think is generally meant by this is being out or seeing people as transgendered individuals, not in social rolls as male. Or not to leave out ftm, not being socially seen as female.

If a term is needed for social encounters I prefer in person. I am in the USA, and this being mainly a UK site, so I may be missing out on British idioms where in real life might fall.