This is a general forum topic so please keep them relatively clean.

I'll start off with one of my favourites, though probably apocryphal. W. H. Fields: "I never drink water, fish do things in it".

I also like: "a face like a plasterer's transistor radio".

“A woman is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

I was doing my mechanics apprentiship, one saying i was told was

"a stupid question can help avoid a stupid or expensive mistake"

and has stuck with ever since

This post was edited by Sabrina T Flowers at August 6, 2015 10:31 PM BST

From my chemistry master at school,
"It's your little life! Make of it what you will."

"Window licker fucktard"

'The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.'