The Trans salon

  • J L
    • 54 posts
    January 21, 2015 5:57 PM GMT
    The Trans Salon (Well, it could be the Tranny salon, but then all you “Trannies know how to be like women don’t you? and so you don’t even need nor want my trans salon so I don’t know why you're bothering to get upset by what I’m typing)

    A Trans salon, a place for inexperienced Trans folk to go, where they can experiment in a safe environment, without the threat of transphobic men, transphobic women & possibly even to avoid the Tranny’s who inadvertently bully by virtue of their “Been there, done that” attitude.

    I really really notice, that going on the Trans journey, we are all at different places, we ask questions which have been asked many times before, but we still need to ask them, because we need to ask them when we’re ready to ask them, and who knows we could even change our thinking a little on issues.

    Maybe there is a market. The bigger problem is exploiting the market. We know these song lyrics "The people with no words to say are the loudest of them all, they fill up all the silence with sentence after sentence & their thoughtlessness knows no bounds at all" (For real I am not taking a pop at anyone in particular & I can be a bit mouthy myself at times xx)

    From what I've discovered from the "Trans scene", there are plenty of us, and given freedom and opportunity many of us might well go shopping and go to have our hair done etc

    Right here today I don't see the world changing & just the same as those funny militant feminists that make us all imagine that women hate men especially those men who like to wear women's clothing, but we here need to know that they are not the majority of women & the loud "out there" Tranny's are not necessarily the majority of the trans community.

    Making an environment where Transgendered people feel safe must be paramount, if we can crack that, then we might find a buoyant market.

    Part time folk are part time folk for different reasons, for some it's because it is just a game, a stress relief (& there's nothing inherently wrong with that I don't feel), but for many many others it is enforced secrecy.

    I am politically motivated to create better support for the Trans community, and for me I see that those who need help are those who are nervous, new to the idea, those who are on the stupendously long nhs waiting list for treatment.

    I’m a bit idealistic, but i’m not very practical, life is life we all can make positive contributions, and we can all learn and perhaps change our thinking on how to “Put our best foot forward” (Wah I insult wheelchair users!!! it was a metaphorical phrase and we love the wheelchair users too xx)

    Well, I’d better go and get prepared for the desperately interesting “Blah di blah” replies I’ll receive, virtually all of them damning me for speaking & then those who are British in which being British means desperately trying to find something negative and then patting themselves on the back for having done that?!?!

    I don’t think I am ready to be rehabilitated into society hehe
    • 201 posts
    January 21, 2015 6:24 PM GMT
    Idealistic fantasy doesn't actually help anyone Janet. What actually does help TG's are TG's out and about in society creating a positive image. TG's creating websites like this where as you say you are given freedom and opportunity. I'm afraid to sound like a loud 'out there' type but in most cases the only thing that limits peoples freedom and opportunity is their own closed metality. Sorry but I think this is perhaps one of the biggest load of self serving bollocks I have ever had the misfortune of reading. xx
    This post was edited by Mia Wallace at January 21, 2015 6:24 PM GMT
    • 103 posts
    January 21, 2015 6:59 PM GMT
    surely having trans only places just means taking trans into the dark, venturing out and about in normal life is the way forward
  • J L
    • 54 posts
    January 21, 2015 9:18 PM GMT
    madam sin said: ''surely having trans only places just means taking trans into the dark, venturing out and about in normal life is the way forward''
    -------------

    Trans "IS" in the dark.

    "Normal life" is not welcoming.

    Trans only places.... not exactly what I thought I said in my mind, but I do see what you're saying and it can be done 2 ways either straight cis services advertise "Trans friendly" or we stop hiding, accept who and what we are and have our own businesses, in broad daylight, welcoming the Trans customer.

    "if" shops sold dresses for men I would have no qualms about shopping them.

    Shops don't.

    This is because in retail the customer is always right? or because the customer is ignored because they don't fit in?

    & here we know, women speak up when clothes are all size 8 to 12 & rightly so.

    I don't care about where I have to buy the clothes, just so long as they're tailored to me.

    They are not.

    Lets make it simple;

    10 transgender people are brave and shop in "womens" shops, and present a good pretty, facile face of transgender... something akin to a womens fashion mag featuring a supermodel.

    100 transgendered people commit suicide.

    Is that the win we're looking for?
    • 201 posts
    January 21, 2015 9:23 PM GMT
    Janet its all about supply and demand. Go to the bank with a business plan and you will be laughed off the premises if you asked to borrow any money. Trans is not in the dark. Normal life is very welcoming. Your views are somewhat disturbing and your cheap exaggerations when referring to trans suicides to reinforce a warped argument are both crass and offensive.
    This post was edited by Mia Wallace at January 21, 2015 9:39 PM GMT
  • J L
    • 54 posts
    January 22, 2015 9:44 AM GMT
    Watch "New Order - Blue Monday 88 [OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO]" on YouTube
    New Order - Blue Monday 88 [OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO]: http://youtu.be/9GMjH1nR0ds
  • J L
    • 54 posts
    January 30, 2015 6:54 AM GMT
    Kinda difficult to respond.

    Me and Gemma are very different people, I have no interest in Gemma and do not appreciate nor take kindly to her response.

    I don't dare to post on this website, regardless of what I post I will recieve negative pissy replies designed to bully me into being quiet.


    #YawnYAWNYAWNYAWNYAWNYAWNYAWN

    anything else to say is only going to be throwing insults back and forth.

    Personally I suggest we just try to avoid each other.

    • 201 posts
    January 30, 2015 12:51 PM GMT
    Sorry but my reply wasn't designed to bully you into being quiet. It was designed in the hope that maybe you could look at things in a somewhat more positive and realistic light than you do already.

    To be polite I think your views and perspectives on things are odd at best. If you were able to look rationally at things, you might view what I'm saying as constructive criticism. So just because I don't subscribe to your rather bizarre take on transgendered issues its not me being negative. I'm just positive and real and have learned that fantasy should only be found in fiction and left well alone where factual discussions are concerned.

    I am sorry if you don't like what I post and yes we are quite obviously different in everyway imaginable, but to suggest I've thrown insults in your direction is more fantasy on your part and to suggest I'm bullying you when all I've done is politely disagreed with a bizarre idea you've had (as well as your crass and non relevant references to tran suicides) is so wrong.

    Oh and whilst I'm here.....for you to suggest shops have 'trans friendly' signs in the window is about as vile and debasing as in racist times in the south of the USA with shops having 'niggers' allowed on their shop windows. If you want to play the victim you carry on playing it. If you want to start a revolution from your bedroom start it. You seem to view yourself as some musically based political activist, when come on lets be real all you are doing is spouting off and a trans website, where unsurprisingly you seem to largely get ignored.

    In fact I have no idea why I have bothered to reply to you at all as you won't listen to anything I say.
    This post was edited by Mia Wallace at January 30, 2015 1:40 PM GMT
    • 103 posts
    January 30, 2015 1:33 PM GMT
    I could quite easily say I was bullied into being quiet for posting also Janet's response was well over the top for simply saying keeping trans in the dark, And that reply was actually incorrect you do dot get 100 suicides to 10 people getting out and about
    This post was edited by madam sin at January 30, 2015 1:34 PM GMT
    • 866 posts
    January 30, 2015 4:13 PM GMT
    My observation is that many of the things that Janet fantasizes about are actually here - out there in the real world.

    1. Clothes - Transgendered people can buy clothes of the opposite gender, and if you are M to F it's not that difficult to find clothes that fit you from size 6 to size 30. Sometimes shoes in larger sizes are an issue, but by and large most Tgirls can buy their clothes in the same places that real women do. We really don't need signs in the window saying trans friendly, and FYI most UK retailers of women's fashion have policies that mean we are treated the same way as RGs when shopping.

    2. Safe places to visit. If you want a dressing service - these are available as well, not just in the UK but across Europe and North America.

    3. Transgendered support groups. As well as national groups like the Beaumont Society there are local groups like Manchester Concord in many places in the UK.

    4. TG websites. As well as this site and TV chix there are ones like jasmine julie james and also the sex sites (like Birch Place and Fab Swingers) for those who want to meet people. And sites like this and others provide a forum where you can safely say things, come out and talk with other people who have been on your type of journey before.

    5. Safe places to go. It's not just Manchester's Gay Village or Brighton in the UK, many places like Leeds and Birmingham have areas where it's relatively safe to go out dressed.

    6. I am not sure where you got your numbers from on Transgendered suicides; there is no statistical correlation between how many Tgirls go shopping and how many commit suicide.
    Yes the suicide rate in the transgendered community is much higher than the average suicide rate for society in general, but that is due to many other factors than being able to go shopping - things like being able to retain your job when you transition and losing your family and friends are much more traumatic.

    Yes the UK and other countries are not paradises when you are trans gendered, but they are relatively tolerant towards us. Many people have fought hard for some of the rights that you and the rest of us enjoy. Yes of course there are transphobic and homophobic people - that's why the LGBT community has memorial days and services, so we can remember those who were killed for being gay or transgendered.

    Going out and about as a transgendered person is never easy. I always assume that I will be read and that I could get nasty comments. I rarely do - even though I am 5'10" and dress size 22 - maybe its because whether I am shopping in my local Asda, sitting on the tram or shopping in Manchester I try to smile and enjoy being out as me?

    It's up to you to put your finger in the plum pie of life and pull out a plum. Only you can lead your life and make the steps you want to. Since 2000 its been so much easier to find out more about being TG than it was in the past.

    Take the opportunities that are there instead of wanting to be in some kind of TG ghetto - thats my advice.

    Pauline xxxx
    This post was edited by Pauline Smith at January 30, 2015 4:47 PM GMT
    • 201 posts
    January 30, 2015 5:26 PM GMT
    ^^^^common sense right there
  • J L
    • 54 posts
    January 30, 2015 5:33 PM GMT
    No I listen, we don't see eye to eye but I am very happy to live and let live.

    I mean, I still don't like you Gemma, at least I can say I appreciate the replies more this time.

    Ty too Pauline.

    I don't have any more to say.



    • 866 posts
    January 30, 2015 5:44 PM GMT
    Janet,

    You might want to have a look at this link which was in a blog posted by Jacqui Jackson on this site.

    Pauline xxx

    http://usvsth3m.com/post/a-transvestite-answers-all-your-questions-even-the-stupid-ones
  • January 30, 2015 10:10 PM GMT
    I don't know, I've been 'out' in normal life for a year now but I've found it 100% welcoming. Maybe I was spoiled by shopping in "trans-friendly" Manchester last summer and Glasgow's Merchant City - but I couldn't believe how many young, trendy female shop assistants fell over themslves to help me shop for boots, shoes, jackets etc. Personal experience. Did I only get 'lucky'? Sure, there are places where a guy in a dress will get the living crap kicked out of him. But there are also plenty of places where a guy with a black face, or a foreign face, or even a white face, will also suffer the same fate. You humans can be so intolerant at the best of times.
    • 127 posts
    January 31, 2015 4:00 AM GMT
    I love that link Pauline I passed it on, a bit of truth and humor in the same place.
    I do go out to safe places but I go on public transit fully dressed as myself. As to weather I will ever decide to live full time as a female, only time will tell. It probably depends on finding some romance in my life. I do shop a my local mall (the busiest in the area) at Walmart and get my hair done at the salon (my hair is my best feature). I am just comfortable being me and learning who that is and enjoying life.
    And I like and learn from both Janet and Gemma so there.

    edited for SP

    This post was edited by rita clark at January 31, 2015 4:02 AM GMT
  • J L
    • 54 posts
    January 31, 2015 10:13 AM GMT
    I need to own up.

    The second posting I put, the response to Madam Sin was purposefully offensive and was indeed designed to bully Madam Sin into not responding.

    I purposefully try to avoid responding to or reacting to Gemma.

    I have behaved badly.

    I don't agree or like Madam Sin or Gemma, with Gemma I'm pretty indifferent, with Madam Sin I tend to find her offensive.

    You had better court marshel me now Pauline.

    _------------------------------------------------------------------

    Morganna, I've had a couple of bad incidents, but nothing too severe, still its unsettling, but I'm always glad to hear when people have good experiences.

    ----------------------------------------------------

    Rita, I only learn by your own good grace.

    • 103 posts
    January 31, 2015 10:53 AM GMT
    I just see it from a genetic woman that's also a admirer so i guess my views will not be the same as trans views with a lot of things but I'm always honest and I'm glad you was in the last post Janet.

    I live in a fairly rough part of Scotland and i have regular contact with trans, to date the most negative people that trans that go public have had contact with has been teenagers. general public reaction is good on the whole you will have people looking as they are not used to seeing trans but as long as you don't act like a lunatic you are ok.

    why do you find me so offensive ?
    This post was edited by madam sin at January 31, 2015 10:58 AM GMT
    • 866 posts
    January 31, 2015 11:52 AM GMT
    Janet,

    My main post on this thread was designed to take the heat out of the situation, being one of the site moderators doesn't always mean that I have to wield a big stick.

    Good on you for apologizing.

    Pauline xxx
    • 50 posts
    January 31, 2015 10:10 PM GMT
    Pauline
    Thank you for your common sense. Its good that we argue and press our own points of view, but we are all on the same side. I would not want to live in a trans ghetto.
    Dee
    xxx