A Return Explained

• Posted by Rachel Maxwell May 26, 2015 3,608 views
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  Forgive me sisters, for it has been several months since I last wrote something. Life has been a bit of a mix up for me these past few months. I was forced to return to Norway, and I struggle to find friends where I live. I do not think there are any other transgender persons where I live. Really, I want to be around people who understand me.
  
  I have been seen by the GID clinic, twice now. The first time was last August and it went horribly. I decided that I needed to move to Finland in order to live with some other transwomen as well as try to get help. I did get some help in the form of self-medicating on HRT. Unfortunately, despite having an indefinitely leave of stay status in Norway it doesn't apply in Finland, so I had to move back in January. It was not a simple thing to do! It was financially disastrous. To top it off my father also died in February and I was unable to attend either his funeral or visit with my relatives.
  
  I guess, it's not the worst though. I am slowly recovering. My second visit with the GID Clinic was last month and it went surprisingly well. I expect to receive a new letter with an appointment for September (Norwegians tend to love their summer holidays). I told them that I was taking HRT and they told me that they would prefer I stopped, but wouldn't stop me. I'm nearly out of HRT anyway. What I need though is both Anti-Androgens and HRT. HRT is giving me breasts, but it isn't reducing the amount of hair.
  
  I wish that I enjoyed shopping for clothes as much as many of you seem to do. People tell me, just pick things that you like. Except the things that I like tend to be about a size or three too small. I'm about a size 38/40 or 16/18 depending on how you look at it. Most of the fashion in these sizes leaves a little to be desired. Especially when I just want cute jeans and tee-shirts. I'm not really interested in the frilly things. Just regular clothes. Sadly, most of the styles in Norway are made for a thinner set of people. Also, I am afraid of going out and shopping alone. It isn't buying things or wearing the things that terrifies me, it is the people themselves. Not because I believe them all to be transphobes or that they are sniggering behind my back or in my face, but just a general fear of social situations. Not knowing anyone in Norway is a real drag.
  
  As far as what I am doing with other things. I am applying for a new passport with my Norwegian legal name. I just wonder how I am going to get my name changed in a US bank that I do not have physical access to. I had it changed back in November, if you can believe it. I've been Rachel Maxwell for over half a year now. If anyone has any experience with this, please let me know. The only thing I can seem to find from my own bank, is having to show up in PERSON to tender a name change. But I will see what I can do with a passport and the name change form and all this that I have. I need to translate the name change form from Norwegian into English and then have that notarised so that I can apply for my new US Passport.
  
  After I get that back, I am going to apply for a Norwegian Dual-Citizenship. That is going to cost a pretty penny, I tell you! Worth it though, I already got my police rapsheet, and surprisingly, there is nothing of note in it. It's just a paper that literally says "Nothing of Interest".
  
  So other than being alone in a small village in Southern Norway, I'm doing okay. I wouldn't mind having a visitor or two over. Since I won't be able to travel for a good while. Of course, it is a bit unfortunate, that I don't live in the city of Kristiansand, I live about 35 minutes away by bus. I am only about 26 km from the airport though (Kjevik).
  
  I hope that all of you have been well. I have thought about most of you lots, when I have been here. Trying to sort out my life. I haven't been online as much. However, being online can bring the world a bit closer to me, so here I am (again)
  
  Feel free to add me as a friend and we can chat sometime!

  Love

  Rachel Maxwell