12 months gone

• Posted by Deleted Member May 25, 2013 #Mel  #guernsey  #identity  668 views
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  So my first blog on here will be about my feelings about the past year.
  
  So just under 12 months ago I first put on a gaff, my false boobs and wig, and Mel was born, since then it has been an interesting ride. My first 'falsies' were a foam travel pair and they did the job fine, but I first felt the true rush when I got my silicone pair a month or so later.
  
  After three months of dabbling privately I told my partner who was very understanding, and still is to an extent even though I know she is not entirely comfortable with the whole thing ( I've only ever dressed in front of her three times to date) Shortly after I told a few close friends, but no family (still haven't) and Mel made her first public(ish) debut at a friends house.
  
  Now a month after that, September time, I had some very big news come my way. My partner was pregnant, and we divided to get a flat together. Mel time was cut dramatically from nearly every other afternoon to as little as one a week. Wich made things slightly difficult for me as I was, and still am trying to figure out where I stand with who I am, more on that later though.
  
  So 3 months ago my son was born and I e never been happier. Mel time came to a near standstill, maybe getting an evening to myself where I wasn't completely shattered once a month, but Mel has continued to develop, so far as to recently gaing her own last name.
  
  Now I come to the part I'm struggling with. On a few occasions when I've told people, my partner included, they've asked me if it's just a comfort thing, or if I would eventually want to go full time. This is an answer I'm still unsure of myself and I keep wavering to and fro the more I grow as Mel. Some days I'm happy with my lot in life, and others I feel like running away to UK and starting afresh as woman. The latter makes me feel really selfish as I love my partner and my son more than anything, but there's this side of me that I also love and can see it possibly causing problems down the line. Hopefully the answer will come to me in time, till then I'll keep finding time when I can to explore the crazy world of Mel.