Fifty Shades of Grey ( a Husbands point of view )

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    The missus bought a paperback,
    down Shepton Mallet way,
    I had a look inside her bag;
    T'was "Fifty Shades Of Grey".

    Well I just left her to it,
    And at 10 I went to bed.
    An hour later she appeared;
    The sight filled me with dread...

    In her left she held a rope;
    And in her right a whip
    She threw them down upon the floor,
    And then began to strip.

    Well fifty years or so ago;
    I might have had a peek;
    But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
    She's eighty four next week

    Watching Mabel bump and grind;
    Could not have been much grimmer.
    And things then went from bad to worse;
    She toppled off her Zimmer!

    She struggled back upon her feet;
    A couple minutes later;
    She put her teeth back in and said
    I am a dominator

    Now if you knew our Mabel,
    You'd see just why I spluttered,
    I'd spent two months in traction
    for the last complaint I'd uttered.

    She stood there nude and naked
    Bent forward just a bit
    I went to hold her, sensual like
    and stood on her left tit

    Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
    My god what had I done!?
    She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
    "Step on the other one"

    Well readers, I can't tell no more;
    About what occurred that day.
    Suffice to say my jet black hair,
    Turned fifty shades of grey.

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