Journey

• Posted by Deleted Member July 29, 2012 #  #  #  1,034 views
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  Following the break up of my marriage in April 2001, I put myself into a kind of self imposed exile as far as relationships were concerned.

   

  During this time I decided I had to get away from Glasgow and did some work around the Highlands and Islands of Scotland, if only to enable me to get my head around what had happened, and to consider what direction my life should then take.  However, little did I realise then, the journey I was about to embark upon.

  
  I moved back in with my parents for about a year before being offered a flat close by and once I moved in, I bought a PC and started chatting with a girl in one of the old MSN rooms and since we got on very well we decided to meet up for a date.

   

  It turned out that she was 18 months post surgery at the time when I met her, but as I said we had been getting on so well and I was attracted to her anyway so her telling me this made absolutely no difference to me with regards to my feelings towards her.

  
  We had been dating each other for about a month when she turned to me one evening and said to me "You will never be happy till that is gone" as she pointed to my "gentlemans vegetables."

   

  We dated each other for about 6 months and during this time she tried to encourage me to resurrect Sylvia, but I wasn't sure if I could as it had been 16 years since I had last stepped out as a female.

   

  We eventually broke up and I decided to see "if" I could bring Sylvia back in from the cold and on 1st March, 2003 at Violate fetish club in Glasgow I made my debut.

   

  I was nervous as hell while leaving my flat, and on the way to the club, but when I got there, the reception I got from people who all commented on how fabulous I looked just made my night.

   

  Later when this particular lady who had done so much to encourage me to "come out" again, when she arrived at the club and gave me such a huge hug and whispered in my ear "am so proud of you", I knew that now that this particular genie was out of the bottle there was no way she was going to go back in.

   

  However, much as I was now out of what was becoming an increasing overcrowded closet, I still wasn't sure whether I was TV or TS. so I made an appointment with Dr Susan Carr at the Sandyford Initiative in Glasgow and after psychiatric assessment and completion of my "real life test," on 1st August 2006 at the East Sussex Nuffield Hospital in Brighton, and with the skilled hands of Mr. Phil Thomas, I was reborn as Sylvia.

   

  There have been times when this journey has been very far from easy. Like many other girls, I have had to put up with being outed in the streets by muggles who think it is their god given right to hassle others who they see as different, I have had to defend myself on many occasions when some people decided they wanted to discuss matters with me by using their fists.

   

  I was also raped twice while I was still pre op, but I only reported it to the police on one occasion since I was told that the best they could do was charge them with GBH since it was not possible to rape a man.

   

  I did not however let myself be put off and continued with my transition regardless of the price I had to pay to stop living a lie and be happy as the person I was and now am.

   

  I’ve had family members, most notably my daughter, walk away from me, and people who I thought were friends, who did likewise, all because I decided that I didn’t want to live a lie anymore, I just wanted to be the person I always knew I was and have the life I should have had from day one....as Sylvia.

   

  I feel so fortunate to have met so many wonderful people, during what has been an amazing journey, and I feel so honoured to include so many amongst my friends.”

   

  This last year has been a very difficult time for me, but I wont bore you with all the details.
  However, I now have a new flat, my own private playroom which is gradually being added to, my phone is ringing again and things are beginning to look a lot better so onwards and upwards from here on. What has happened can’t be undone so all I can do is learn from the mistakes of the last year and make sure that I don’t repeat them in the future, and hopefully I have come out of this whole episode a much stronger person.

   

  I cant believe that it is 9 years since I started this journey by attending Violate in March 2003 as Sylvia, and am now coming up for 6 years post surgery on August 1st 2012.

   

  Yes there are still issues that I still have to resolve in relation to aspects of my personal life i.e. family, I can however, honestly say that there has never been a day when I have woken and regretted ever having underwent my Gender Reassignment Surgery, it has been the best thing I have ever done and as things stand at this time in my life I couldn't be happier.