RambleRanting

• Posted by Rachael Louise Blanche May 29, 2014 1,792 views
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  "........ and the reflection staring back was a strangers face......"

   

   

  Ok, well not sure were this one is going it might be the rambling of a complete idiot or the ranting of a mad person. Something odd happened, not sure what but it happen and as writing about helps me. I've decided to inflict it onto you poor souls. So here goes. Sorry.

   

  Working shifts as I do, I tend to get days off all over the place, which is useful when dealing with the 9 to 5/ Monday to Friday world. Its also means I can dress as the other half is normally at work. ( I tend not to dress when she is off as when tend to visit family and do ' our couple things'). I don't mind this, as she tends to blow hot and cold over my dressing, but saying that she does accept who I am.

   

  Yesterday & today are my days off. On my own. Yet, yesterday I deliberately decided to stay as my male self, don't ask why I just did. Did what I need to do and didn't give a second thought. So today I decide to dress. Went through my usual routine, shower, shave, make-up (which really hard doing it in the shower runs every where), wig and dress.

   

  So there I sat on the edge of the bed, looking into the mirror. The weird thing is it wasn't me staring back. It was a very happy and content middle age woman. Now I know what I am. I'm a bloke in a dress, sometimes I pass muster, sometimes well.......? I know can critical of myself when I'm dressed, to point it can stop going out as my Rachael ego. But my reflection has always been me. Whether I'm in male mode or en-femme it's me.

   

  However, today it was Rachael staring back at me. It was almost like my brain had switched. This person in the mirror was not a He in a dress but a She. A very happy, content looking She, without a care in the world. Every time today that I've looked into a mirror She is there smiling back, happy as larry, enjoying life!  I feel, slightly confused, but with a happy warm feeling inside and the truth be told I'm not sure what means, but I know I don't want this feeling to end.

   

  As for my male ego, well his running in panic around my head totally perplexed by the whole thing running into walls, with all the exits barred!

   

  Maybe I'm just having a weird day. Maybe it's too much sun (haha!). I just feel odd in a happy sort of way. I would say that, maybe I've just lost the plot, but i never had in the first place to lose.

   

  Mad idiotic rumbling, that'll be the one then

   

  Rachaelx