Random Stuff III

• Posted by Rachael Louise Blanche January 21, 2014 1,873 views
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  Well.....the third album, it has go a bit experimental even a bit darker, trying something different.........

  Well I hit the 90s not so much with a bang but more like a stumble, at this point I am going out with a girl, sort off the rebound, my true love of my 20s left for New York meet someelse stayed and broke my heart.... So here I am going out with this girl,  trying to find the courge/time/place to tell her this thing is not really working for me and she annouces she is pregrant! Wham! Bang!........yer?

  So doing the right thing I ask her to marry me. Using that wonderful thing hindsight this was the biggest mistake of my life. Nine months later we had a son, the most wonderful thing too ever happen to me, so after a gorgeous little girl joined us, these two people are still the most precious people in my life.(At point I might say my marriage was a mistake, not my kids)

  As for my marriage, well dropping calcium in water would have been less explosive! My darling ex-wife liked to spend money like its was going out of fashion, bills were for other people. She was a closet snob and the Jones couldn't keep up with her (does that sound bitter and twisted) Money was the biggest cause of our arguments.

  At this point I'm working in a car factory (remember those?), she is working part-time, son is about to start school, To which Ex annouces she wants to do a degree so she can become a teacher. I start perment nights working 12hour shifts plus overtime, come home take my son to school drop my daughter off at nursery, get 4hours sleep pick my daughter up then my son feed them and sort myself out for work and this is my routine for the next 2yrs or so. I also may a this point I wasn't dressing. Ex is having a wonderful time btw.

  At some point, surviving on 4hrs sleep and working 60+ hours a week plus arguments every week. Takes its toll on mind, body and soul.....Me? I crashed big time, I don't remmber much, the mind protecting itself, I am told. My sister said I was a zombie just eating and sleeping. Ex tried to have committed to the local mental health unit, and was stopped by my Mum and Sister, who dislike her anyway, so for them dislike turned to hate. For me? My confidence was gone and my black hole was deep. It took me a year to get back to work longer to find myself again. Had various counsellors even talked about my crossdressing with some of them. On the plus side I started dressing again.

  So after 5yrs I started dressing again in secert. Which was a thrill, something dark and deviant which would well and truely piss Ex off if she found out . Which she did of course and it did.

  So after 14yrs of marriage I was back in a small flat with a stash of clothes. Life is funny like that!