Coming out to work - first steps

• Posted by Elizabeth (Liz) April 29, 2014 #coming out  1,670 views
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  Thanks to Deborah Taylor, I finally plucked up the courage to talk to work about me.

  After reading around online at other people's experiences I decided that the best thing was to write a letter to the HR manager. In the letter I summarised what I was going through and what I wanted to achieve. I also made it clear that I wasn't demanding anything but would work with the company to make sure everyone, not just me, was as comfortable as they could be with what would happen. Once I got the letter right (it took hours and a few complete re-writes), I decided to send the HR manager an email and ask for a meeting.

  HR Meeting 1: Tuesday 22nd April 2014

  When I arrived at the meeting room the HR manager was already there. I sat down nervously and asked if she would read the letter. She took her time to read and absorb while I sat there like a jelly. When she'd finished she congratulated me on being true to my feelings and then we had a really long chat. She was so nice about everything, above and beyond her professional obligations. She asked a few personal questions, which I had said she could in the letter, and also asked what name I would be using. I gave her a printout of a great document which gives employers all the information they need about this. She asked to have some time to read all the information and do some research before talking again. I was so thrilled when we'd finished, she was amazing and made me feel so confident that I had done the right thing.

  HR Meeting 2: Monday 28th April 2014

  This time we started with a few practicalities, such as which toilets I could use. She didn't even ask, but stated squarely that it would be perfectly fine for me to use the ladies (when the time comes of course). We had a chat about who to tell first and how, and agreed on the CEO and a senior manager, followed by my line manager. She would speak to the CEO and senior manager on her own and we'd speak to my boss together. There were lots of other things, but I won't bore you. Before we finished I asked if she wanted to see a picture of me. You know what us girls are like, she jumped at the the chance. I showed her some I'd taken the day before, nothing special, I didn't want to spend ages cherry picking. I could see from her initial reaction that she was relieved that I looked quite normal. She did admit to having preconceived ideas and had clearly got that wrong. Anyway, another great meeting leaving me with a grin on my face for the rest of the day.

  Tuesday 29th April 2014

  I got an email from the HR manager this morning. She'd told the CEO and he was really good about it. Five minutes later I got a call from him. Obviously I couldn't answer the phone without saying hello to him by name (the phones show who's calling), so the brief conversation was "Hello Gareth.... Yes, I'll come over now". I went over to his office and we had a long chat. He was really kind and appreciated the approach I was taking with work. We chatted about how things would be handled and also about the difficulties I'd faced getting this far. I know it's not going to be plain sailing, but that's 2 great reactions so far. Only another 200 odd people to go... 

  When I got back to my desk someone asked why the CEO wanted me. I just said "You'll find out soon enough". I'm so naughty lol