Are there Two of me

• Posted by Josephine Green March 12, 2013 #Trannies  #personality  #male-female  2,736 views
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  The other evening someone asked whether all Trannies had two personalities. Now I can't answer for all, only for myself. As far as I'm concerned there is really only the one but I could see how an outsider may have come to that perception.
  When out at drab drinks we introduce ourselves using our femme name as if two names means two personalities. If we meet someone when in femme mode we try hard not to have them know the other side. Just read back that last paragraph and you can see the problem. Femme mode or side; drab mode! All very confusing. And yet we all live with this almost without thinking.
  Well I thought about it for some time and decided that maybe it is two distinct personalities but not as bad as sounds. As a tranny you receive little blows to your personality when you are young so you start hiding yourself or rather you start building your male self. He is big and strong and can take on the world. Each knock makes him bigger and stronger. But is he the real you? I don't think so. He is the you the world wants to see.
  Meanwhile the real you gets less 'air time', only coming out when you are dressed. At some point the real you can almost disappear or perhaps the other or male you takes up most of your time. I feel this is what happened to me. The male side looked after the outside world to the extent that the real me didn't come out. This may be why when I did come out I went from closet to fully out very quickly (also with a lot of help from others).
  I still wear my male self when I need to but not as often or as completely. He makes sure that Josephine doesn't get hurt and is always there to try to look after me. This can explain (at least to me) why on occasions I dress but don't feel totally at ease.
  Will I ever give up my male self? Not that I can see as I have so many commitments as a man. What am I looking for? A balance between the male self I built over the years and the real self which I really like.
  
  Anyway that's my spin on the orginal question. What do you think?