The Polling Station

• Posted by Pauline Smith May 6, 2015 #UK election  1,376 views
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  What Can’t you do in the Polling Station

  This is a light hearted look at the UK's general election tomorrow and what you can and cannot do in the polling station, based on a BBC article - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-32451429

   

   

  Well first off you cannot take selfies, in case you inadvertently take a photo of a ballot form. Also you cannot send tweets - so no tweets from Dave LOL Cameron that hi-tech man of the...banking .... people.

   

   

  And of course you cannot vote for the SNP in England - however much Darth Murdoch and his rags ( Sun + Times) say that the union is under threat....though I thought Dave was in charge of the Conservative and Union party?  Or is he just a banker lover?

   

   

   

   

  Mind many people in middle England are worried about the SNP and want to vote for La Sturgeon and other Scottish fishes, though of course - they can't.

   

   

  The real big issue though is - Can you bring a pet?

   

   

  Apparently you can take in one dog, as long as it's under control. Several dogs would have to be controlled by polling station staff. Sadly the Queen would have problems with her corgis, even though its not clear if royals (like jailbirds) are not allowed to vote (more later). And if you arrive on a horse or pony then you have to tether it outside. Of course Sean Benn and his O2 cats may or may not be allowed.

   

   

  Which brings me to the "elephant in the room". Are we allowed as transgendered people to show up en femme to vote. Yes we are - though unless we have changed our name and registered then our birth name will be the valid one. All praise to Sean Benn for his marvellous acting as a transperson.

   

  

  Can we go in political clothing or with rosettes? No. Wear a burqua or dress as a pirate yes it is allowed - just be careful of Farage....

   

  Amazingly you can vote under the influence of alcohol or drugs, though swigging a bottle or snorting a line of coke would probably result in ejection fromthe polling station.

   

  Of course being a royal carries special responsibilities...though it's hard to see where. And though you are allowed to take your children with you to vote, to enable them to experience something that is different....how about the Cambridges?  Off to their hovel in the country where the Duke takes 2 weeks paternity leave part way through his training as an air ambulance pilot. An every day hard working guy... supporting a hard working family, cough cough.

   

  The Windsors are allowed to vote, they choose not to. Mind whoever gets in is hardly likely to make them go for Job seekers allowance or pay bedroom taxes.

   

  And of course you cannot vote for someone else or discuss their views inside the polling station

   

  It's not a good idea to write on your ballot paper..."what a load of twats" or "none of these", or to sign your name. If you do that your vote won't count and maybe you could let in someone you dont want

   

  So if you are voting tomorrow then dont take a cat or a selfie, or snort a line of coke - be happy to dress as you want to and fill in the ballot paper without using rude words.

   

   

  Pauline xxxx