My Dilemma

• Posted by Deleted Member June 7, 2012 #  #  1,040 views
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  6 June 2012
  My dilemma 
  Yes I am a late starter I am 51 and came out at the age of 49 to my family. I have always felt different from an early age and never felt comfortable living as a guy. So The urge to dress has always been there on and off since the age of 7. But my desire to live as a woman has got stronger with each passing year. I finally accepted this back in December 2009 and have been happier for it. I have been on a bit of a roller coaster since but do not regret it for one minute. Being out dressed as a woman just felt so natural and right. I am luckier than most that I don’t have to much of a masculine face and body. I am not to bothered if I pass or not as long as I dress nicely and I am respectful while out. I have got used to the strange looks and the giggles behind my back. If people have a problem with me dressed as a woman then it’s there problem not mine. I have been fortunate that I have not encountered anything nasty and received more compliments than anything negative so far. But I am ever mindful that a day may come when my luck might run out. I would be happy if I could be put on the hormone treatment to help make me more feminine and if i did have the operation then it would be cosmetic rather than for sex reasons. So do i possibly suffer being ridiculed, shunned harassed and victimized at work and possibly hounded out of a job. With the job situation as it is, would I be able to find employment elsewhere. It’s hard enough getting a job as it is and would be even harder being Transgender. So reluctantly I have decided not to press a head at least for the time being. My situation may change and may be one day my dream will come to fruition.
  I would have to live and work as a woman for two years, and only be prescribed a low dosage of estrogen before they would prescribe the full hormone treatment. Having
  to work as a woman before the hormones had given me a more feminine look is crazy not only for me but my employer.
  I could do it but it would not be fair on me or my employer. Some would say well it weeds out the time wasters etc. Which is bullshit, You have to see a doctor who then refers you to a psychiatrist who then refers you to the gender clinic, which is a long process do you honestly think a Tgirl would go through all that if they were not serious. When I am not at work I dress and do day to day things as a woman. I want to transition with dignity not be made to feel a freak