Time and the Man in the Moon (or Woman)

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    I talked a lot about time on this last Sunday’s The Fabulous D Show. I’ve got to tell you that when I planned this show I knew I could go on forever about how people spend their time. It’s been a thorn in my side since birth. Time has always bothered me. The lack of their ever being enough is the problem here.

     

    In a lot of ways I’ve been mourning my death since I was born. I haven’t found too many people who understand what I mean by that. A lot of people think I’m suicidal which is pretty funny since it’s completely the opposite. I’ve been mourning death since birth because every day I’m terrified I won’t get to finish living before I randomly and most likely unexpectedly croak. One day, gentle readers, the fat lady shall sing.

     

    This explains my obsession with all that I do and the speed in which I prefer to do it. I’ve been rushing ever since I figured out who I was and what I wanted to accomplish. That was about the age of 13 and I’m now 30 and feel like I’ve only just begun. I’ve barely taken a break since 20 years ago and it’s really not about what I could accomplish, instead it’s much more about all the things I personally want to experience before The Artist D is the The Artist Dead.

     

    Perhaps the reason I keep pushing my opinion of how you should analyze the way you spend your time is that I feel most people have a little less in mind than me. I want to travel the world, be super fabulous and be a pillar for the international community. Most people just want to be themselves in their chosen environment and go out with your girl friends on the weekend. Both our ambitions are hard to achieve. Being yourself is as hard as me wanting to be some kind of drooling advocate superstar. The difference is you can be yourself a lot easier than I can jet around the planet and talk to millions. Remember last week when I was going on about how you should just be? I know “just being” comes at a high price (socially, equitably, structurally) but in comparison some days it’s like “Geeze, come out of the closet and go have a picnic, already!”

    Easier than it sounds. I know.

     

    On this last Sunday’s show my co-host, Vanilla Child, mentioned how money makes it all harder. Which was the other point of it all is that our culture fiercely holds us down and then we go making it harder to boot. I can just about scream when it comes to money equaling freedom. Just looking ahead of all the things I have to book and all the money I don’t have to book it with.

     

    I want to go to certain events but that takes money. I want to fly places and contribute to things. So I’ll buy the plane tickets the next paycheck. Then I’ll buy the conference tickets on the next paycheck and the new wig the next paycheck. Oops, forgot the hotel the next paycheck after that. Taxi cab fare the next? What about my new dress!? Oh, sorry, conference is two months over by the time that paycheck comes. Scream! I’m sure you can relate.

     

    The truth about time is that we can spend it the right way or the wrong way, but our culture and current structure is going to keep us from using time to the fullest no matter how we try.

     

    The only thing I forgot to say on the show about time was it’s a fight to do it right. And quite frankly I’m enraged to fight my way to do what I want in the little time I have. I suggest you do the same! 

5 comments
  • Deleted Member Love this D and thanks for the suggestion. I agree with Pauline in so much as we are lucky to day compared to years ago. remember it wasn't that long ago when they used to give electric shocks to gays! I for one do struggle with coming to terms with me...  more
  • R Fox Will people mourn your death and celebrate your life? Or celebrate your death and mourn the life you could have had? Life is what we make it - and we need to make it count! You go girl - at a million miles an hour -maybe Death won't catch you up at that pace? X
  • Deleted Member thanx "D" fantastic blog and yes its mad how we can just go through life not doing much i havent done all i wanted yet and sometimes we say i will do it tomorrow and as you say the fat lady may sing before we are ready loosing my cousin has put...  more
  • collettetv oxford i take each day as it comes, i able to do less these days due to my condition, so i say sod it and enjoy life on a daily basis, oh, if i had more money, i suppose i could do a bit more maybe, anyhow good comments "D". and when it concerns...  more