Our Time - Stand Up And Be Counted

• Posted by R Fox November 13, 2014 #future  #stonewall  #lgf  #self-expression  2,239 views
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  There have been a few of things that have started to frustrate me about being trans and seeing the trans community develop.

   

  The first is people telling me how I should feel about it – this is in part due to the media.

   

  The second is organisations from the LGB organisations starting to get involved with trans issues after ignoring us for decades – and in particular just focusing on the transitioning trans people.

   

  Finally, it’s the lack of passion in the trans spectrum to stand-up and be counted with a resounding “I’m on the trans spectrum”.

   

  Let Me Be Me

   

  Let me go back to the challenge of people telling what I am. I am me. Nobody else. I’m not transsexual – I’m not a “sissy” – and I’m only a cross dresser in the literal sense of the word. I’m not gay, and I’m not straight - I like who I like. In short, I’m good old fashioned analogue – queer in every sense, gender and sexually.

   

  The problem is people want you to be like them – and explaining to other people is hard enough even when they have some insights to trans, but explaining this to someone who’s only view is from the recent media, famous comedian or potter – it’s a total disaster

   

  From “So you want to be a woman?” or “So you like wearing women’s clothes” – it not as simple as that for me and I suspect for many. Of course these questions have always got to be handled with humility and humour if you are out in public as trans we need to be putting all our best faces forward. Being trans for me is about expressing a gender of how I want to be, and when I want too.

   

  Sometimes the gender expression at a particular time is habit formed – such as work where I’m always as a guy, sometimes it’s as woman in my social time – but my head always stays the same.

   

  I fully subscribe to trans being a journey, were get on and off all the time – due to our own feelings, the pressures from family and work, time, money, effort and reward.

   

  Forgot The T?

   

  Organisation that existed in the LG or LGB bubble are becoming exposed now. The genie is out the bottle – the gay and lesbian community is everywhere and “out”. There is still a massive fight to be had as it is not accepted by everyone (and those fights tend to be physical against the LGB community by bigoted, uneducated thugs – or religion). Like drink driving it’s not acceptable to be homophobic anymore in the UK. ‘Casual’ homophobia is still about and will probably always be. My issue is the LGB organisations that fought so hard for those right didn’t keep their eye on the next prize, the prize of their organisation survival.

   

  What do you do when your cause is being won? You find cause. Problem. Other people have already been fighting for trans rights without them and moved it forward. Also where education was driving change and many of these organisations had been driven by facts, figures and research, todays fight is won on social media and the everyday barrage of news and celeb gossip. There is also a total lack of facts around being trans. The UK is an educated country – a connected country. These organisation need to embrace, support and ally but not take over the fight. Being trans is NOT the same as being gay or lesbian. It is much or akin to be being bi – where it can be hidden, and often is.

   

  As a trans person – and my type of trans is not obvious to everyone – the occasional and non-transitioning type is not targeted by these organisation. They are missing a large proportion of the ‘T’ spectrum.

   

  It seems the exposure of the trans people these organisations are taking advice from is merely scratching the surface. For there to be true trans equality and trans rights then it is not about gender and sex – it is about self-expression and removing the stigma of expressing a gender, whatever that is in relation to who you are – whenever you want too. I’m not sure these organisation understand that or even want to as they simply asking the wrong people, the wrong questions.

   

  I am not saying I don’t want these organisations to be an ally to trans people – I’m just saying they need to make sure they are allying everyone on the trans spectrum. It would be horrific to see trans being binary - are transitioned (or want to) or you’re not. Trans is a journey.

   

  Stand-up and Be Counted

   

  I read Tim Cook article about being gay, he’s the head of Apple. Why did it take him so long to openly say “I’m gay”? It’s OK to be gay now. When he started out it wasn’t OK. I really admire him for doing what he did. As trans myself it’s hard to say “I’m trans” – what do you say exactly? “I’m a crossdresser?” “I want to be a woman?” “I’m a transvestite?”. The problem is the journey begins as feeling like you want to try being another gender, or try on clothes that you know you shouldn’t. It’s much more fuzzy, more hidden, and much more analogue.

   

  It takes time to know where you want to take it. So standing up and saying “I’m trans” wherever that is on the spectrum is hard. But, we do need to say it – and we need to say it more, to more people.

   

  So where am I going with this – well to start with. You are you – don’t be someone else’s idea of what you are. This is also your fight – a fight for self-expression and happiness. Don’t let someone else tell you who you should be, and then let them fight for something you’re not. Finally, for this happen you have to stand up and be counted.

   

  I’m trans – and this is my fight for self-expression.